先生・せんせい/sensei – the word means teacher, but the deeper meaning is “one who comes before”. Wiki says “a person born before another”. [先] sen defines as “previous” and [生] sei as “life”. It’s a term mostly given to professionals, the ones we learn from and that opens up a wide world. Our parents could be included.
Lately, I’ve been preoccupied with my mother, where she is in life and aspects of her care. Fortunately, I can share these concerns with my siblings. Also fortunate, is the fact, that, so far, with much discussion, we’ve been able to agree on these things. In this process, over the years and particularly the last few months, there has been much research, discussion, relying on the skills and experience of family in the healthcare profession – much learning. I’m the student in these matters.
It has taken much listening – especially to my mother who wants to advocate for herself and to maintain her independence. Listening to her wants and needs, respecting them, as well as helping her to advocate for her health and safety has sometimes been a delicate balancing act. At this point in time, some decisions have had to be made for her and that’s where it has become delicate – sensitive.
So, December, in many respects, has been a month of reflection. It’s been much more actually, as my siblings and I ponder and address further stages of mother’s aging and needed care. While it’s life and universal, each person is unique and she is our mother.
In early childhood, she was my teacher – she taught me to read, write and sew among many other necessary life skills. Now, she’s teaching me about aging, at least some aspects of it.